August 25, 2010

There's just over 2 weeks until school starts, and I'm questioning whether or not to send Jacob. I am afraid to send him to school because of his current behavior. If his mood does not change, I cannot.

We have been working with changing his medicines with the psychiatrist all summer, and now he is at the point where is going off all medications to start something new. I just know puberty has a role in his behavior also.

He is so touchy now we have been walking on egg shells around the house, being careful not to upset him. But it doesn't matter how careful and quiet we are, he is set off by the slightest thing. I'm walking too loud, I laughed out loud (and he thought I was laughing at him), his pants are the wrong shade of blue, etc. etc. Everything and anything has set him off to extreme agitation that he yells out in anger. Then the anger turns into rage where he screams, throws and kicks things. After that, he begins to scream and cry inconsolably. The crying goes on and on, and sometimes he acts like he is delirious. It's a strange thing and very scary as a parent to observe. That stage seems like it lasts forever, as it sometimes lasts for hours. Then sobbing sets in. He is feeling awful about his meltdown, that he is not able to control it. He is frightened. He hates feeling like this, hates himself, and the world around him. It's been horrible for him, not to mention everyone in the house, including our pets.

I have tried different ways to deal with this situation. I have learned getting angry and punishing certainly does not help. Trying to reason with Jake does not help either. At this point trying to head off the meltdowns are merely impossible. Something isn't right being a chemical imbalance or similar. These fits are just not his fault. For all the parents with typical children reading this, you cannot handle this type of situation the same you would with your typical child. It just does not work.

All I can do for now is keep the lines of communication open between the two of us, and give him lots of love and patience. I keep telling him to trust me, that I am trying to get some help for him and he will feel better. For now I think its best for me to stay home from work and not to leave him alone until this stage blows over.